The things that make me smile these days are small things. Yesterday I had dinner with Auntie Carol in her garden. That is something I don't think we have done since I moved here. Her garden all bright green with imminent summer made me smile.
The weather yesterday was comfortably warm with a light breeze and it reminded me of many a summer night back home. It's nice to see summer is actually coming since up until now it has been unseasonably cold. There were some days in which I wondered if I was actually back home it was so cool.
Today on Facebook I decided to use their check your email address book to find contacts feature. I had never used it before and I figured there wasn't anyone in there it would find that I didn't already have on my contact list. I was shocked to see Kris come up. He was the last person I ever expected to find on Facebook. He didn't really check email often and only had dial up at home.
I have to admit when I saw his profile pic come up with him and his son my heart clenched a bit. He really did break my heart and it still smarts sometimes to remember him. He must be happy though and that is some consolation.
I wish I didn't feel regret about things I have no control over. That was a situation I could not save and there is no use in thinking about it anymore. I suppose that is what happens to people that are lonely they sit around combing through their past trying to figure out where they went wrong. The problem is that my past is littered with so many 'couldve been' relationships that I have plenty of 'what ifs' to consider. Enough to keep me feeling sorry for myself for decades.
My friend Frances often tries to remind me about the joys of being single and childless. She tries to get me to think positive about it but it doesn't cheer me in the least. I don't deny that being in my situation doesn't have its perks. I'm well acquainted with them as I have been this way for almost seven years.
In other strange news I no longer have a geocities web page. I was kind of sad about it but I suppose it was time to take it down. I had not been able to update in quite a long time and geocities was discontinuing their free service as of sometime this summer. I'm not going to pay for something that has always been free.
I suppose all those free web space providers out there have realized with the advent of things like Facebook and mySpace no one needs their services anymore. People can keep in touch, post photos and videos without any need to know code or design. It's the end of an era for sure. I built my webpage on Geocities back in 1996. That was how I taught myself html.
I figured since I was doing a big purge taking that page down I also took down all the other pages I had scattered across the net. Now all that's left is this blog.
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